Nothing against teaching children morals, or morality, & nothing against moral stories personally … okay … maybe a teeny bit.
Recently came across some attempts to get kids to read, but the feel of the queries was all wrong. The reasons for getting the kids to read …
Like ‘improving vocabulary’, like ‘enhancing personality/ confidence’, like ‘imparting morals’ … I assume, dear Ma/ Pa, that you yourself have a completely different hobby?
Ah!
See, on behalf of reader Mas & Pas, lemme tell you, it’s not gonna work. When one, anyone, tries to do one thing to a child (read ‘improve/enhance/ market-ready’ them) in the guise of another thing ( say, reading/craft/ volunteering), dude, it does not work. These are “side effects”, not the “desired effect”. If that be your goal, AND there is nothing WRONG in that goal – sincerely- then please go about it with honesty. Trust me, your child will respond.
I mean it. These things need to be taught. Want your child to be street smart? Send her to the street, watch her fend off the bullies, where you can see her, but she knows she’s on her own. Want your child to be able to outstare everyone in negotiation skills? Tell him that. Give him practice. Or, want your child to be God-conscious, to not tell lies? Talk the talk. Explain the consequences, better still, show them live examples. Take them to vocabulary class. Take them to speech & public speaking circles. These exist. (Although the will generally ask you to get your child to read…)
IMHO, Do not give your child (esp., very young child) books for the purpose of – personality development – Vocabulary/Grammar/Reading skills/Writing skills development – Morals!!! What is going to come of this is, a lot of unnecessary tussle, tears, disappointment, ultimately, you saying “Aajkal ke bachchhe books padhte kahaan hain!” Spare yourself & your kid the drama & the unpleasantness, & just say – right away “Aajkal ke bachchhe books padhte kahaan hain!” … I promise we will smile & nod knowingly!
Reading is a hobby. We, who do it, do it for its own sake. I can add n no. of images here explaining why readers read. However, let’s take other examples. Someone who loves to cook. Why do they love to cook? Because cooking nourishes people? Because eating cooked food makes people feel happy & stay alive? Because Good cooking methods are good economy for the family? No. They cook because they love to cook.
Let’s approach this topic from another direction. We all know the advantages of sports. Discipline, teamwork, strategising, physical health, being a good loser … & so on & so forth. Let’s agree that some of us send our kids to play a sport because we want to inculcate these skills. Still. Just consider how this training starts. Does a little bit of ‘strategising’ be expected to be learnt by the 2.5 year old? No. The 2.5 year old is taught the skill of throwing the ball.
When your child is 2.5 years old, morals are a far, far, distant thing that they need. They need to ‘experience a book’. A 2.5 year old reads with her/his hands. Give them a book to manipulate. Give them a book easy to feel, & hard to destroy. Give them a book the tail of which can be pulled, which can be chewed on. Just let them TURN PAGES.
Ironically, considering the situation of readership declining, the Children’s books publishing is in the pink of its health in India RIGHT NOW. Now we proudly have culture-appropriate books for even extremely small, young beginners. Do you know why Julia Donaldson books rhyme? Well, that young a child enjoys rhyme! S/he also enjoys endless repetition, to the sooner-or-later boredom of the storyteller, they also enjoy to ‘complete’ the story, the familiar story that they are requesting the nth time, & you know what they also enjoy? Silliness. Morals can wait.
Sometimes, it backfires. I remember a story from a book which was a story for kids by Sri Ramkrishna. It involved a teenage gwaalin (milkmaid) & an established pandit, who was also a guru. The gwaalin has such faith that she literally walks on water, while the guru, who had only meant it metaphorically, is unable to muster literal faith on his own metaphorical words. I had an epephanous take-away from this story. For my entire life, whenever one has asked me why I am an atheist, I’ve humbly & genuinely told them, “Bhakti andar se aati hai” – faith comes from within. & I sincerely mean it. (If & ) When faith calls me, I will respond to it.
Anyway, moral of above story is … don’t push morals!
Don’t look for morals in books. Look for a take-away. If that take-away is 30 seconds of laughter, but if it was genuine laughter, & your kid enjoyed it, the book served its purpose. Don’t feel squeamish reading books to your child/ giving them books which do not have an obvious & pious moral. There really is no book that will teach nothing. Trust me, it’s difficult to even write that bad a book, & even though there are numerous enthusiastic publishers, nobody has the time & money to publish trash.
That said, I definitely recommend you to COMPLETELY READ what you are giving your child. Even within good books, there are personal opinions as to what you would like your child to imbibe, & at what point. There is considerable debate regarding certain books, ironically, those which actually have strong morals, for example, ‘The Giving Tree’ & ‘The Rainbow Fish’ (check here : https://bookriot.com/2018/11/
It certainly comes to your discretion. But, please! Do not insult the intellect of your own offspring! Please do not buy her/him a book full of stories from each of which a moral is to be derived!
If you are not a reader yourself, then take your kid to an adult/ teen who is. Generally, your nearest librarian will be the perfect person, as, now in 2019, being a children’s librarian in India is almost 100% a labour of love. Then again, there are such groups on Facebook. They will know which book will help your child start off. & get them hooked. Again a word of caution, not all are born readers, & if you do not personally enjoy reading, chances are, your kid will need some persuation. Please, not just reading – any activity – please do it ONLY in a way that you & your child both enjoy it, in short & long term. Happy Children’s Literature to you!
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