RooBaRoo

All my Public writing

Judged by WhatsApp Forwards

Lately, I've felt judged.

Yes, I am a “helicopter parent”. Better a helicopter parent, than a dead child, maimed child or raped child, what say?

"Benign neglect". Hmmmmmmm. Let's see. I'm a product of that. How did I fare? The children of "pushy parents" from when I was a kid have by now established a world for themselves. While I, of intelligence without ambition (which, by the way, is like a bird without wings, did You know?) am still "in process" ... So, no. I do not buy this one either.

Yes, it's true that "parenting" is a new word. It did not exist before our generation. But how about us? Do we exist in our generation? Or before our generation? Last I know, the "Ancient Indians knew Time-travel"- machine had not yet been dug up from our stupendous past! & even if it had been, I'm not much a fan of being a child bride, a 3rd wife , a Sati ... 

No, thank you. I am gonna live in this generation. & I'm gonna prepare my child for what is my assumption of the coming generation.I do not KNOW what it will be, I am not Alvin Tofler, am I?

All around, I felt judged. Which was weird. Because, I have a very, (VERY), co-operating husband, awesome in-laws, amazing parents, incredibly cool colleagues(touchwood), friends when I need them! (actually, touchwood all around!!!) So who the hell is judging me? Why do I feel constantly judged? It's an uneasy feeling, which brings out the “rebel-without-a-cause” in me!!!

Beauty & harmony. Let go. Transcendence. ... advice, & preachvertisements. Analogies, & allegories. True stories, & ancient fables. To help me be “a better me”. Why? Do you ever stop & reflect? Why do random strangers need me to be a better me? Why am I not enough? Why all this “lifestyle education”?

After puzzling for a long time, I realized that !!!!!! Yesssssss!!! (Read the title to this write-up!) Keep it coming, guys & babes! Daadis & Taus!! Self-styled spiritual gurus & one-book psychoanalysts!!! Now that I know WHO I am facing, I am prepared. I need to have my financial independence. I also need “Mumma-baby time”, “couple-time”, time for the needs of the 2 sides of my family, & then, yes, I need some “me-time”,  some crafting, some activism.

A spic-n-span house ? ? ??? It's a luxury for "other people. An uncluttered Zen mind-space? ..... Umm! It's me you're talking to?

In my me-time I read & re-read Agatha Christie. THAT is my meditation.


Rasoi


The Kitchen”, speaks intimacy. Even in today's modern design, where the kitchen is as sleek as the sitting room, & does actually open into the lounge/ living room, still, if you are joining someone at the cooktop, if you are operating someone's blender – you are close to them. Kitchens are the centre from which the business of living a good life is conducted. They are the control room of house parties, the board room of school projects – preparing the “ghost fluorescent slime”, sprouting seeds for “plants need light” experiments. Kitchens are where pre-teen gangs with little to do on scorching summer noons, but heads bubbling with new mischief, hang out, with endless pop-corn.

Those persons, that you let into your kitchen without feeling that your personal space has been invaded, are those who you are ready to take a bit of constructive criticism from, to expose a bit of your vulnerability to! Since childhood, I've been inside the kitchens of “Aunties”, who were mothers of close friends. Ramen cooked with a tempering of Cumin & Mustard, Idlis smeared with Milk-fat & sprinkled with sugar ... fattening food for never-still school-children. Upon growing up a bit, on becoming teenagers, it was considered good manners to offer to help the hostess whom our family was visiting. This included entering her kitchen & carrying the tray of cups of Chai, that she had prepared, & later, carrying back the used cups & plates to the sink. However, any shy & adult-interaction-averse teenager would only bestow this special favour upon really special Aunties!

The kitchen window is where the heart is opened to the world at large - where the sparrows flock to peck at rice flakes, where the mangy runt cat comes to claim its share of milk & love, & meow its world philosophy to those who care to lend an ear. Kitchens also stand for traditions, & belief systems. We lived in identical apartments which were company quarters, & inside the kitchen was a store room made entirely of shelves. Many families had their mini temple/ worship place in the Store room. Floor decorations & wall decorations with traditional rice powder & rice paste often adorned the Kitchen.

I remember getting offended by “No entering kitchen during menstruation” rule in the house of an orthodox religious family. I simply decided to never let them know I had my periods. My own mother's kitchen was the place of her sorrow. She did not, & does not enjoy cooking, it is very rarely that she cooks willingly. Still, one has to cook. & cook she did, dutifully, punctually, measuring every nutrient, instilling in me a deep-seated “need” for “veggies” & lentils. But that was not her sorrow. The sorrow was my grandmother, my father's mother. In India, it is common for aged parents to live with their sons. However, my grandmother was extraordinarily interfering, immature, & basically a pest to my parents' relationship. Somehow, the kitchen represented to my mother, the entire injustice of her life ...

Thankfully, I have not inherited my mother's luck in Mothers-in-law, nor her disdain for cooking. My husband & I belong together in many places, also the kitchen. I discovered my life partner quite early in life, in Undergrad. At that time, we were quite inseparable. Going to the same places, seeing the same sights, experiencing the same events, eating the same food, we developed similar taste. We were often present in the same kitchens apprenticing with the person who was cooking for us non-hostel-mess food. It was delicacy for us - hostel-dwellers, & that person a master chef! Now, we assist each other, & prep for each other, & share our kitchen duties naturally. If a family that cooks together stays together, then we can definitely hope to.

The Kitchen, also, is the reflection of the time of one's life. Out of necessity, whoever moves out on their own, first sets up their kitchen. Purchasing one's first set of “Tea, Coffee, Sugar” jars, is not the general matter of poetry. Yet, it is one of the enthusiastic rites-of-transition from a protected life in the fold, to youth, where every little chore has to be hand-performed. I remember preparing our first Besan Chilla on our single-burner LPG stove. My roommate & I, though we knew that Besan Chillas are a beginner level recipe, were unsure that the chilla will “hold together” in itself, we added an egg to the batter. The memory never fails to make either of us smile, as we soon discovered that Besan is very sticky, & is indeed used to bind together other loose ingredients.

Living in a country which has two seasons - hot & unbearably hot - the Winter wonderland has been conceptualized by story-book illustrations - "blanket" of snow with sparkly blue magic outdoors, & contrasting yellow-red fire inside! I imagine aromas which I have not personally experienced! Remember the  kitchens in fairy tales? In the gruesome killing of the evil witch by the abandoned Hansel & Gretel, the scalding of Big Bad wolf as he comes down the kitchen chimney … climaxes happen in kitchens. Then there are the Russian fairy tales, where Baba Yaga meets her seekers by the hearth, Masha cooks pies for the bear, & the most atrocious - Yemela travels by his kitchen by the blessing of the fish!

 “Grandma's tips” all originate in the kitchen. Turmeric is an anti-inflammatory, Water boiled with carom seeds will soothe an aching tummy ... I came across the term “Hearth Witch” as my horizons broadened globally. You come to realize the the respect of the elderly & experienced woman as the healer. Where these women were content to perform their functions, with satisfaction simply from happy family members, & recognition only in the form of being taken for granted, we are more vocal about our needs & position. Still, the bond with the kitchen remains. The bond of the kitchen & the kitchen garden surfaces, & with awe you proceed to search for  the point where a herb becomes a medicine. Just a bit of mystique is invoked! There is magic all about the kitchen!

Kitchens are also the first to be neglected in the face of adversity. The living room is “maintained”, pretence of well-to-do-ness is kept up as long as possible. The kitchen's exhaust fan whose motor has burnt-out is not sent for rewinding. The sunmica of the dining table, the tiles of the platform get chipped, & remain so ... It does not affect the smells and aromas, the warmth of the flames, or the warmth of the provider, the mother figure. & so, in partial neglect lie the appliances, in disrepair, but lovingly cleaned with soap-water & scrub. & when the mother figure is ill, is taking a holiday elsewhere, or is, sadly, dead, the kitchen shouts aloud its complaint & lament, cockroaches rear their heads, coffee stains become the very pattern of the surfaces. Even as political debates gather storms around eating habits, & gender roles transform, get confused, & transform again constantly, the actual, physical kitchen welcomes all, continues to be a woman's kingdom, yet yields to whoever will take over with love.

As of every animal, food is a human need. However, "eating" does not seem to be getting "digitalized" in the near future. The Kitchen will continue to be a real, tangible, fragile, impermanent fixture in an increasingly virtual world!

Damnation

We are all aware of the heinous crime against Damini.
We are also all more/less aware of the various statements isued in negative spirit, ranging from naive to misogynistic. Case in point : minister
The statement which hits me hardest in the gut, or should I say, in my"woman parts", is one or the other form of the proclamation
"She must have been provocating.
She was acting in a way (more specifically, wearing clothes) that are not befitting "Indian Culture".
I shall not HERE, enter into a dialogue on Indian Culture.
May i register my own feelings on the topic, which reflect the (much quoted on FB) words by

However, I am setting aside the question of "Right to dignity & protection from gender crime".
Here,
I request of you a particular help.
I request You to help me prove, statistically, that risk of getting raped is not inversely proportional to clothing coverage.
The Null Hypothesis here, is :
Women wearing shorter/Western clothes have a higher probability of getting raped in India.
&Working Hypothesis is
Probability of getting raped is independent of victim's clothing.
This is where I need data, that you can provide.
Kindly tell the nation :
In each case of rape reported in India
1) What was the victim wearing at the time of attack
2) What was the victim used to wearing (in case our Victim-Blamer-fellow citizens want to imply (baselessly) that the victim had been "provocating" "long term")
It would also be interesting to know how many have male colleagues, let alone boyfriends, & how many have ever seen the inside of a disco. But I have the sense to realize that you are more than enough busy in your work, & hardly have the opportunity, even if inclination, to humour my whim.

Learning & forgetting

Vicky is enjoying reading the primers that I have. It is sad that the school is taking such a mechanical approach, & the other kids have no benefit of the joy of "have learnt to read", the sense of achievement. Besides, a primer at school would have meant one more primer for Vicky :D My current resources are certainly running out. I have been visiting the website Homeschool Freebie of the Day since a few years, in fact I had been looking for primers online, for another child, when I stumbled upon it, & now it is certainly time to dig out those awesome vintage primers & print them out ... who says You have to be homeschooling, or American, to need these resources? You just have to be an involved parent.

In Hindi, the school is simply rushing on with the written alphabet. In fact, Vicky has forgotten not only the writing movement, but also the "look" of many of the alphabets that came (& went) in between. & oh! she has also developed some wrong writing patterns. She is writing "d" by taking her pencil from beneath & making the circle twice. "a" by making a circle first, & then "adding a tail". Likewise, she is also writing p wrong ... I am having to teach her the correct movements again. This is the result of not enough practice of the earlier learning, before moving on.
By the way, Vicky cannot write a cursive "k". & I do not insist.

She is getting better with the sight words. She is finding "the" everywhere now, for example in the English newspaper. I have always been told to "guide the child to put reading in context" ... I had to make no efforts towards it. She is also really bent upon phonics. She tries to read whatever she can. The other day, we were in the car, & she asked "Mumma, what does "The Pan" mean?", I thought that it must be the name of some restaurant, but my husband said that it was "The Panacea", a hospital, & marveled for 5 minutes at the fact that Vicky had read so much from the moving car ... :)

My mother has sent the Bengali Primers. I am starting on the Bengali consonants with Vicky.

Led by the child

It is difficult to explain the meaning of "the" to a Hindi-speaker. Thankfully, in Baanglaa, " টা " is much more frequently used than "ठो ".
The first set of sight words was the most difficult to teach. Vicky kept forgetting the look of each word, as well as the meaning, & I kept losing patience. After 3 weeks, I decided that it was time for the next set. Somehow, perhaps because "it" "is" & "in" are actually phonetic, or of only two letters,she picked them up quite fast, even though she still kept forgetting the words of the first set.
At school, after the small letters in running hand, the class started with 3-letter words. "at" words. I was quite astonished. Why not "a" sound words as a whole? "an", "ag", "at" all those words? But Vicky is quite proud of her school, & the activities at school, so I went with the flow. 
I had a few resources with me. One was a book from my own pre-school days, that I found in a used-book market in my college days.
It has this "lesson" about Mohan, & when I was in  pre-school, we had a steel tub just like that, & a red mug just like that, & my Mom too used to warm the water in the tub in the Sun in our company-quarter varandah ... I "related" with Mohan!!!Well, nostalgia was paying off. I also had a set of "Songs letters sing" from ANOTHER generation before. (Yes, we are children's book-preservers.) These provided a set of "reading material".
Luckily, I found a cluster of sentences, with primarily "at" words. About a cat & a rat, who have a nap on the mat & in a hat, respectively :D I had to interject with the words "on " & "in", as they were not yet on her "syllabus" ... but at the end of the session, she was able to tell herself " बिल्ली ठो बैठा ऊपर एक चटाई ...के " Vicky did 3 sentences that day, & the whole of the same lesson the next day. Thankfully, she found it very amusing that "The cat is fat". She was literally ROFL. Thus, Vicky is now reading for pleasure. For real.

About spoken

In ordinary, middle-class India, anyone with a good "spoken English" is treated with great regard, bordering on awe. lamentably, the country's school system is merely a "certification system", rather than an "education system". & it is exams which produce the certification. Therefore, it is the emphasis on "spoken English" which distinguishes a great school from an average school.
In Vicky's school, certain instructions are given in English, like "take out your Diary" etc, & then explained in Hindi, but this is not the case with all communication. Moreover, the teacher's aide is simply a poor woman in a menial job, she is plain non-conversant in English. On the other hand, the school expects the kids to mug up a set of  questions & answers on different topics every week, for example fruit, or water animals, etc, which is called elocution. I do not know how it is "delivered" in school, as I have not seen it. When we start practising these at home, I call it "playing quiz", & I try to explain the question, as well as the individual words that make up the question. I encourage Vicky (& Vibhu) to answer in a sentence, where they know the words of the sentence, & is repetitive.
In this context, I am thinking that I'll add the words "some" & "are" to the list of sight words, as most questions start "name some ...", & I might as well show Vicky the looks of these two words she is commonly using.
Vicky is excited about the colouring game. We modified it to make shapes around the words too ...
I have to remind Vicky every few minutes to "hold the pencil correct". She says it hurts, & I sometimes doubt if I am doing the correct thing.
On the contrary, when Nutan teaches sight words to her child, she completely emphasises on the recognition & recall only, & totally sidesteps meaning. It's okay for her, as her child is already quite conversant in English , & watches cartoons in English.

Dolch sight words

Okay, so I discovered  the "Dolch sight words". It was interesting to read it up, I am happy to know that the list was originally drawn up to facilitate kids to read kid-lit independently.
I have downloaded the flash cards from the website dolchword.net download page. I took the "Pre-primer" list, because that is the starting point, & I also guess that what is called "Nursery" in this school (3+ to 4+) would fit that description.
I spoke to my child's teacher & she told me that she will be doing "sound words" first. I somehow have a feeling that "sight words" will be needed more, will need more teaching, & also, I have trust on Vicky's teacher to be able to teach phonics. So, I have decided to teach sight words  to Vicky myself.
We started with the six words of the 1st page of the printables. The logic of the choice of words of the pre-primer list is confusing me, but right now, I am going to trust Dolche's & the website's wisdom.
It is proving difficult to teach Vicky sight words. Maybe I am expecting too much, because she learnt the alphabet from others, without any effort on my part. I think ... I think Vicky is being thick ... Ha ha! I am just repeating & revising with her, & Vibhu too. Vibhu is 2 classes senior, & knows some words, though he can learn a lot more. It is helping a bit to enthuse Vicky, but I also have to prevent it from becoming a "word-sreaming" match :D
Nutan is helping a lot. Nutan is in touch with this really good special teacher. She told me a sight word colouring game. (She has thought up this game herself, Nutan is innovative!) The game is simple, the sights words which are being practised, along with the child's own name, are written repeatedly on a page in a grid. Each word is assigned a colour, & the kid is given the crayons. You call out a word, & she colours all the repeats of that word in the page. It should work well with Vicky, as she enjoys colouring.
On a different note, since I was cribbing to Nutan about Vicky's bad grip, she suggested me mazes. Very basic level mazes, with a thick big pencil, are good exercise for a correct grasp!

Search This Blog

About Me

Why does anyone write? Mostly, because they cannot help it ... Speaking requires an audience. Writing does not require a readership. When I started this blog, I was new at my job, just about to get married, highly confused about what to do with life, highly dissatisfied with myself, & devoid of any "responsibilites" as they say in Indian Middle Class. Oh yes! Also, I used to imagine the populace to be divided into 3 equal thirds, economically, & the middle third was the middle class. I was a "Young adult". Now I am a middle-aged auntie. & I have found out that the lower 90% is the lower class, the top 1% is the upper class, & I am the 9%.

Followers