Happy Fathers' Day to someone who was
not originally one much for celebrating days :)
Baba is a “fix-it-up”-er. When we
were small, Ma used to keep a list of stuff that need fixing. All
week, or sometimes 2 weeks, items will be added. Sunday morning,
after the Samosa Jalebi, which was our standard Sunday fare, Baba
would take the list, plan his route, get the materials, & if
needed, technicians, & return by midday, when the dining area
would convert into his workshop.
I am not able to classify Baba's
parenting style. Possibly because it was a flexible style,
always-analyzing, always fine-tuning. But he has always been a cool
person. I know people have aggressively angry fathers, & are proud
of the fact, but what can they do, after all, they love their father
& gotta rationalize ...
I was one of those excruciatingly
infuriating offspring, who remember that a Map of South America,
Graph-paper copy, or blue drawing sheet is required in school ... at
approx 9:00 p.m., when the shops in the small-town religiously close
down. Ma gave me a piece of her mind, Baba too let out a shout of
exasperation, but I have never gone to school next day without the
requisite specific! (Though I might have very well forgotten at home
a book or notebook or geometry box which was already with me ...)
Baba's constant chant of “Substance, not style”, “ Substance,
not style” has made me this simpleton who can't even handle her own
eyeliner. Yet, I remember I had the Dennis the Menace “Squeezy”
water bottle with freeze-able gel packs, & one of the first Casio
Tone Banks in town...
I see my colleagues, who are half a
generation older to me, fret & fuss over their children going to
hostel, or to live independently in the Metros. When I started seeing
this, I was like “What wimps. AND they have sons. Baba never
thought twice, never had the slightest doubt or fear” ... but after
witnessing this 5 or 6 times, I have developed a strong suspicion
that Baba did think ... a LOT, probably had ample doubts & fears,
but KEPT them to himself, & behaved as if, dropping me in
Hyderabad at age 17 was the most natural & normal thing to do. I
guess this – letting go of the fledgelings – is as “natural”
as “normal delivery”, only for both parents.
Baba never had “strict rules”. I do
not really remember - anything of any value to me, that I asked for
- being refused. It might be because I was an ideal goody-two-shoes.
Or it might be because Baba was such a success, that the rules that
he lived by, got internalized in me, & never had to be pronounced
out loud. Even faith was a matter of exploring, never an absolute. I
think that was the strongest strength-building, independent
thinking-building influence on me – Baba actively seeking his
faith, never embarrassed of the fact that he is experimenting
something so fundamental as faith.
Baba is still the go-to person when
something needs fixed. These are photos from last November. The
monkey menace of Panki needed to be fixed. & without injuring
the monkeys. I had seen a wall decor arrangement somewhere, &
the Archies' photo clocks will not do ... I got made custom shelves
by the carpenter, but now these needed custom LED lighting ... AND,
when sometimes my “down in the dumps” needs fixing ... he says,
that on these occasions I start the phone call with “Hello Baba,
Khaali aachho tumi?” rather than the more definitive “Hello,
Baba, Shono.”
Happy Fathers' Day, Baba, It's
absolutely comfortable & comforting & tension-free having you
for my father, there are some fathers who call their daughters
princess, & perhaps also treat them so... but my father can fix
it all.
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